Just Do It!

I took this photo of Andy, Eva and Emma on the beach in Santa Cruz


Is it odd to have a best friend who is twice your age and then some?
My friend Andy is 75 and the only reason I'm not using his full name on this blog is because he is a well known presence in the world. At least, if you're in technology or if you happen to be Jewish.

How we came to be friends has a lot to do with time and place. But also, interests and opinions. Andy is a rock for me. A solid person who is always available. Well mostly available. So many people demand his time it's amazing he returns my calls.
I in turn am his therapist. The obvious connection here is therapy. His and mine. Sounds odd but the mix works. The catalyst was Andy's desire for me to finish my education. Both him and Eva pushed me to go back to school. They even offered to help.

It wasn't until I was floating through various classes that I discovered my love of photography and videography and that it could be a viable career source.

I took a photojournalism course and ended up doing a photo essay about Andy. I still remember the instructor saying, "Think of where you have access, then make it happen!" I did and for 2 months I shadowed Andy through various events and meetings. Not to mention treatments and workouts. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's in the time I've known him. So that was my angle. How does someone who's famous handle a disease? Obviously the money is there but where is their mind and heart? Andy impressed upon me the effect of being totally honest with yourself. No self pitying or complaining just look it right in the eye and do what you have to do. It's an incredible testament to who he is.

After my essay was done my instructor approached me about doing a story for Time magazine. He was sure they would want the photos. One in particular is a very vulnerable shot which I could only have gotten through ultimate trust.
I've found over time that my connection to the subject creates my photo. If I care about you, it's easy to see it reflected back.

They are now like family to me and over the years him and his wife Eva have opened my eyes to new understandings of the world. They took me to plays and the opera. Which, I didn't even know I liked till I met them. We like talking about politics, religion and relationships. I like to think he gets a kick out of my exploits in the realm of dating. Whereas Eva seems amused and worried.

But the issue I've always had being friends with them is wondering how it fits. More importantly, how do I fit in this situation? I love them and they love me. But, how do I express that feeling? I stay at their house, watch movies, talk for hours but I'm constantly reminding myself that I am NOT family.

I mentioned this to Andy yesterday. We are that open with each other.

He looked at the ground, mulling over what I had just told him, looked up and said, "you are family, we love you." The he grabbed my shoulders and looked straight into
eyes, "if I could change your past I would, but I can't and neither can you. Maybe that wouldn't be the right the thing to do anyway. I like how complicated and conflicted you are in your emotions. But you can express yourself to us. An email is nice. Think of Nike, just do it." he said smiling and bringing me in for a hug. Then he added, "It is what it is. You said that."

That was all I needed to hear just then.